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My husband: my first love, partner, and best friend

By 4:11 PM , , , ,

I stumbled upon this yahoo article about a few weeks ago by Amber Doty, which was initially entitled: "Why I love my husband more than my children", but now I guess they changed the title to "Why I'll Always Put My Husband Before My Kids"...Yeah the latter sounds more appropriate.

So, what's it about? 

Mainly it's about the author valuing their marriage and investing in their relationship, therefore putting her husband first before her kids, and seeing it as an important way of showing her children what a healthy relationship is and that they all benefit from having a happy, loving family.

There's nothing wrong with it right? It's all for the family, which is a nice thought really.

Now, let me share my own thoughts about the topic, and a little bit more...

Like the author, my husband and I found ourselves as expectant parents soon after we got married. We we're excited to make a family. Why not? That is mainly why you get married, right? Well, for us, it was a main reason. My husband is an only child, and was orphaned to his single mother at fifteen years old. Eight years into our relationship, he proposed and we got married the following year. Now, after almost thirteen years of togetherness and 4 years into our marriage, we have 2 toddlers in tow.

We didn't get to spend as much time as husband and wife as compared to the time we spent as parents to our young kids. Sometimes, we think about the "what ifs", that if we didn't have a child early on or if we spent a couple of years just with each other. And those "what if" thoughts are normal I guess, but we adore our children, and we don't mind the less time we had as a married couple compared to the time we are as mom and dad.


Why would I put my husband before my kids?

My husband is my first love.
I fell in love with my husband before I fell in love with my children when they were born. I became a wife first before I became a mother. I was his first, before I was theirs. These will always be facts.

In as much as I love my children dearly, my husband will always be my first love... not necessarily putting his needs first before my kids, because the priority depends on what kind of needs, but let's put in a way that my love for him is incomparable and unquestionable.

Some might say that the love we show our significant other is different than that of our children, or that there are different kinds of love. But, I sometimes consider my husband like one of my children, and he even considers himself as the "panganay" (eldest child) too.
This somehow rings true to most of us, right?
Husbands need to be taken care of, see that they're fed, dressed properly, and cuddled every once in a while... yes, just like children. See? 

Even before we got married, I was the doting girlfriend to him, cleaning up after him, cooking his meals, and scratching his back!

I guess I learned to be a better homemaker and mother because he let me take care of him and love him first. 

He is my partner.
I love my husband even more because he is my partner in this thing called "parenthood". We are very hands-on with our kids. And I am very proud of him because he was raised by a single mom, and yet fatherhood is becoming on him. He is involved with raising this family, not just providing for it. Other than that, he also does his part with household chores.

We are compliments of each other. He works hard at the office to provide for us, while I make sure our children and our home are well taken care of. He makes the large-scale, long-term plans, while I make the detailed, daily ones.

I want to give him a good reason to want to continue to be part of this team, which is our family. I see to it that our hard-working provider gets well attended to when he goes home from the office. I ask the children to greet him, welcome him with open arms and kisses, and I do too. I make sure to provide him with unconditional love and affection.

He is my best friend.
I always treasure the time we have alone with each other, even more so now that we have kids. We love talking about a lot of things, practically anything under the sun! And I guess that's why I consider him as my best friend. 

He is someone I turn to during the happiest of times and during the saddest of times. We tell each other secrets and dreams. We even have moments when we're thinking of the same thing, or talk at the same time, and even finish each other's sentences. We're in sync that way.

I also want our kids to consider us as one of their best friends, to share their secrets and dreams with, to be able to open up and talk to, because they see that their parents are the best of friends too.

And in sharing the same sentiments with Amber Doty, I want to keep this kind of relationship with my husband until we're older. The time will come when our kids will grow up and have children of their own, and I want to spend the rest of my days with my first love, partner, and best friend.

I also want to greet my husband a very Happy 4th Wedding Anniversary!

Now you know, I care for you and love you the most!

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  1. I was about to say that this would be a nice piece to write for your anniversary, and true enough, today's the day pala. Hehe Happy anniversary sa inyo, mommy! You have a wonderful family.. :)

    1. Actually it's on the 30th pa, but I was motivated to write this earlier :) Thank you!

  2. sweeet. Very true and I quite agree with your ideal that you prioritize your relationship above all since both of you are the pillars of your family. More deacdes of togetherness ahead.

  3. This is really sweet mommy :) Thanks to this post, I suddenly traveled back in time and reminded myself why I married my husband. :) Happy anniversary! :)

  4. Happy Anniversary!! This is a perfect gift for your hubby..Enjoy your anniversary!!

  5. So sweet and passionate! Nice piece!
    Happy Anniversary and keep the love burning :D

  6. What a sweet message for the man of the house! Happy anniversary to both of you! -- Maria Teresa Figuerres

  7. Such a sweet post! Happy 4th Anniversary and wishing you more love and happiness.